Answer 1

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0.

Answer 2

How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
"You're still thinking procedurally! A properly-designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class."

Answer 3

A computer program does what you tell it to do - not what you want it to do.

Answer 4

"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features."

Answer 5

I wrote a program in lisp once... it wrote back to me.

Answer 6

To err is human, to debug divine.

Answer 7

How many people does it take to change an object-oriented light bulb?
Change it? Aw, shucks. I was going to reuse it.

Answer 8

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.

Answer 9

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.

Answer 10

How many software developers does it take to change a light bulb?
The light bulb seems to be working fine on our system...

Answer 11

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

Answer 12

There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't.

Answer 13

Where did the programmer go?
"He went DATA way!"

Answer 14

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project!

Answer 15

How do you know someone's a real programmer?
By the keyboard-shaped dents in their forehead.

Answer 16

A programmer solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Answer 17

Answer 18

How do 2 programmers make money? One writes viruses and the other...

Answer 19

Why did the computer get sick? He left his windows open.

Answer 20

Answer 21

Is it a bad thing when you Google something and it comes back...

Answer 22

Man in a wheelchair stole your camo jacket?...