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You are a pill babe
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Being an idiot isn't a crime so you're free to go
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MEl1a
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Celebs walk on the red carpet because they're famous... My friends and I walk on toilet paper cuz we the shit!
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Tom: Let's go to the game.
Tina: I can't. I've got church.
Tom: Don't worry. I think Jesus will loan you out for this one. Let's go!
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Remember... it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to extend your arm and bitch slap that mofo across the face!
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How do suspenders greet their trousers?
What up britches!
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MEl1a
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What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It's going to take me a while to get hard. I just got laid by a chick.
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Argo
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What did the female potato chip say to the male battery?
If you're Eveready I'm Frito Lay.
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How does a black owl sound different than a white owl?
A white owl says "who... who..." A black owl says "who dat... who dat..."
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K OS
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I hate it when I buy a bag of packaged air and there are chips inside. Pisses me off!
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What's red and bad for your teeth? What? A brick
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I wouldn't say you're stupid. You are, but I wouldn't say it.
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