Answer 1

1) Sit down next to a stranger on a bench, at a table, etc.
2) Place an envelope down between the two of you showing a picture of a random person (to make it even funnier use a celebrity's picture!) on the outside of it.
3) While looking forward, not making eye contact, lean over and whisper to them "remember... It has to look like an accident! You'll get payment when the deed is done."
4) Walk away. ;)

Answer 2

Buy a racehorse and name it "My Face."  Then go to the racetrack and you can hear all of the women in the crowd shouting "Come on My Face!!"

Answer 3

When your roommate or family member is on the way home get a squeeze ketchup bottle from the fridge (or you can avoid the smell by using corn syrup and red food coloring). Spray it all over yourself and the kitchen, especially the floor. You can put a big spot on the back of your head and lay still, face down, spread out on the floor. A baseball bat on the ground next to you is a nice touch. Just want to try to let them off the hook before they call for help!

Answer 4

In the lunchroom at work tape up a big list of your favorite co-workers, ranked from #1 - 20 based on how much you like them. You can update it weekly and put how many spots each moved up or down. Don't forget to recognize the "Most Improved" co-worker on there. They deserve it and it's a great motivator to continue pleasing you.

Answer 5

When you're at a wedding the minister says "if anyone has a good reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." Have a pregnant woman raise her hand and walk up to the front. She can point to her stomach and say something like "I've got a reason right here, our son! I'm getting a lawyer..." and then storm out of the wedding crying.

Answer 6

You can mess with your co-workers by secretly switching the coffee maker at work to decaf for a week or two. See how their behavior changes when they're unknowingly deprived of their caffeine fix. Then you can switch it back later to espresso!

Answer 7

Answer 8

Answer 9

im so sorry to here about the death of i gave a shit

Answer 10

Answer 11