Answer 1

What is the difference between sex for money and sex for free?
Sex for money usually costs a lot less.

Answer 2

The sex was fast and furious... He was fast and she was furious!

Answer 3

Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Nevermind, its too long."
Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Nevermind, you won't get it!"

Answer 4

"I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome."

Answer 5

What is the difference between sugar and Sweet-n-Low?
Sugar is when you kiss her on the lips!

Answer 6

Boy: Do you like to play the drums?
Girl: No, why?
Boy: Because I want to bang you!

Answer 7

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer!

Answer 8

What's the difference between your job and your wife?
After 5 years your job still sucks!

Answer 9

3 women were talking about their sex lives.
The first one said "My husband is like a championship golfer. He's spent years perfecting his stroke."
The second woman said "My husband is like an Indy 500 winner. Every time we go to bed he gives me over 100 thrilling laps."
They asked the third woman about her husband. She thought it over and said "My husband is like an Olympic gold-medal 1/4 mile sprinter."
"How so?" the other 2 asked.
"He's got his time under 40 seconds."

Answer 10

A man finds a new brand of Olympic condoms at the store. He gets a pack and proudly shows his wife the pack. "Olympic condoms!?" she says. "So what makes them so special???"

"There are 3 colors" he tells her. "Gold, Silver and Bronze." "So which color will you wear tonight?" she whispers coyly in his ear, taking the pack from him.

"Gold of course," he says. "You should wear Silver instead," she says as she slaps the pack back at him, "it would be nice if you came second for a change!"

Answer 11

My wife and I are into S & M.
She sleeps and I masturbate.

Answer 12

Sex is like poker. If you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand.

Answer 13

What does a woman and KFC have in common?
By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in!

Answer 14

Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?

Answer 15

Sex is like air... it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Answer 16

Why was the young man upset when he got a sweater for Christmas?
He was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

Answer 17

The 3 biggest lies women tell:

1. You're the biggest.
2. You're the best.
3. It doesn't always taste like that.

Answer 18

What do you call a woman that wants sex as much as you do?
A dream

Answer 19

"Sex is like a misdemeanor... the more I miss it, da meaner I get!"

Answer 20

What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaah?
About 3 inches

Answer 21

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't."
Daughter: I know.
Mom: If he touches your vagina say "stop!"
Daughter: But he touched both so I said "don't stop!"

Answer 22

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221!"

Answer 23

Once a nurse came late to the hospital. The doctor called the nurse. "Why did you come late?" he asked her. The nurse said "I was getting a boy's pump but now we're out" so the doctor pushed her up against the wall and gave her his pump.

Answer 24

What's a condom and a coffin got in common?
They both hold stiffs but one is cummin and one is going!

Answer 25

Teacher: Why are you rubbing oil on your head when I'm teaching?
Boy: Last night I heard my mom tell my dad to rub oil on the head if it's not going in.

Answer 26

Loose women tightened here.

Answer 27

What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that can stay up all night!

Answer 28

What is the best way to get into a sleeping bag?
Wake her up first.

Answer 29

Why do they say eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
Because if you'll eat that stuff you'll eat anything!

Answer 30

A woman pops into Radio Shack to ask for batteries. The clerk motions with his finger to follow her and says "come this way..." The woman exclaims "if I could come that way I wouldn't need batteries!"

Answer 31

How do you get laid?
Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

Answer 32

How do you make your girlfriend cry when you're having sex?
Phone her!

Answer 33

What's the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
During erotic sex you use a feather. During kinky sex you use the whole chicken!

Answer 34

What does it mean when a man in your bed is gasping for breath and calling out your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough!

Answer 35

A man and woman are having sex in a dark forest. 15 minutes later the man gets up and says "damn, I wish I had a flashlight!" The woman says "so do I. You've been eating grass for the past 10 minutes!"

Answer 36

Answer 37

What a woman says: This place is a mess. C'mon! You and I need to...

Answer 38

What did the banana say to the vibrator? "Why are YOU shaking?...

Answer 39

Answer 40

He said: I'm about to make you the happiest woman in the...

Answer 41

Why do women close their eyes when having sex? They can't stand to...