Answer 1

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. The bad news is we're hopelessly lost. The good news is we're ahead of schedule."

Answer 2

3 beautiful girls were on a plane that was about to crash.

American Girl: Rescuers save beautiful girls first.
French Girl (opening her bra): No, rescuers save girls with beautiful tits first.
African-American Girl (taking off her pants): Fuck off. They'll always look for the black box first!

Answer 3

Answer 4

A beautiful, sexy woman was sitting next to a guy in a plane. The woman said to him "Can you help me remove something from my breast please?" The excited young man replied "Wow! It would be my pleasure. What is it?" "Your eyes, idiot!"

Answer 5

I have a friend who is a pilot on a 747. I said "Hi Jack" and he shot me!

Answer 6

Unlike cars, airline seats don't have airbags. They figure it's enough that you end up sitting next to one.

Answer 7

Why did the plane collide with the bridge?
The pilot had just taken a crash course in flying.

Answer 8

Flying is not dangerous... crashing is.

Answer 9

Passenger: How often do these kinds of planes crash?
Stewardess: Once.

Answer 10

That little indestructible black box used on planes... Why can't they make the whole airplane out of that substance!?

Answer 11

Who were the inventors of the first plane to crash?
The Wrong Brothers

Answer 12

Terrorists are afraid to fly with us.

Answer 13

The probability of survival is proportional to the angle of arrival.

Answer 14

How do you know it's midnight at an American airport? When you see...

Answer 15

How many parachutes do we have?

Answer 16

"When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my...