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Dog jokes
Tweet
dogs
animals
Requested
in
Society & Nature
by
MC Jester
edited
by
MC Jester
28 Jokes
1
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Shared
by
Argo
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What do you call a dog on the beach in the Summer?
A hot dog.
Shared
by
The Joker
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How did the dog stop the DVD?
He pressed the paws button.
Shared
by
The Joker
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What time is it when there are 5 dogs and 1 cat?
Five after one.
Shared
by
The Joker
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What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter. It's not going to come anyway!
Shared
by
NumeroOcho
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A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and then announces "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"
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by
NumeroOcho
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Two blondes were walking down the street. The first said "look at that dog with one eye!" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "why?"
Shared
by
Argo
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How do fleas travel?
They itch hike.
Shared
by
JustMe
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Man: Why is everything in your house damaged?
Woman: My dog is in the middle of being housebroken.
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by
JustMe
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What dog flies on the Concorde?
A jet setter
Shared
by
a contributor
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Sandra: Why did you choose him as your veterinarian?
Tonya: He's also a taxidermist so no matter what happens I'll always get my dog back.
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a contributor
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Mark: I'm so sick of my dog. He chases everyone on a bike.
Stan: What a pain. Are you going to have him put down?
Mark: No, I think I'll just take away his bike.
Shared
by
NumeroOcho
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What is the difference between a businessman and a warm dog?
The businessman wears a suit. The dog just pants.
Shared
by
a contributor
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Why didn't the boy advertise in the newspaper when he lost his dog?
His dog never read the paper.
Shared
by
Jokester
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Why should you watch when it's raining cats and dogs?
You don't want to step in a poodle!
Shared
by
Argo
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"Why is your dog the first one to the door every time the doorbell rings? It's never for him."
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by
JustMe
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"He's a great watchdog. The other day it watched a burglar while he broke in and stole all our TV."
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by
a contributor
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What happened to the dog that ate garlic?
His bark was much worse than his bite!
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by
a contributor
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What did the man say when he caught his best friend sleeping with his wife?
"Bad dog!"
Shared
by
If Then
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Why is it called "getting your dog fixed" when it doesn't work after that?
Shared
by
a contributor
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What do you get when you cross a pit bull and a collie?
A dog that runs for help after he bites your leg off
Shared
by
Argo
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What kind of parents does a mixed breed dog have?
A father and a mutter
Shared
by
a contributor
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What is a dog's favorite part of a tree?
The bark
Shared
by
Jokester
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Why did the dalmatian go to the cleaners?
His coat had spots all over it!
Shared
by
JustMe
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Sign: Ignore the Dog. Watch Out for the Owner.
Shared
by
a contributor
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What do you call the top of a doghouse?
The woof
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by
a contributor
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What did the dalmatian say after he ate?
That hit the spots!
Shared
by
Argo
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How do you make a dog drink?
Put it in a blender.
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by
a contributor
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