Answer 1

A recent survey found 4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.

Answer 2

Teacher: Johnny, if you added 5,748 to 4,911, divided the total by 3, and then multiplied it by 2, what would you end up with?
Johnny: The wrong answer.

Answer 3

What does the Ph.D. in math with a job say to the Ph.D. in math without a job?
Paper or plastic?

Answer 4

"What happened to your girlfriend, that cute math student?"
"She's not girlfriend anymore. I caught her cheating on me."
"I can't believe she would cheat on you."
"A couple nights ago I called her. She said she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns."

Answer 5

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

Answer 6

Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!

Answer 7

Answer 8

A teacher asks his students "What is 2k + k?" A student replies "3000!"

Answer 9

How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It's left to the readers as an exercise.

Answer 10

What did the circumference of the circle say to its diameter?
Hey, do you wanna share some of my pi?

Answer 11

Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences.

Answer 12

What's the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of 4.

Answer 13

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi

Answer 14

If you have 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 4 apples and 3 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Very large hands!

Answer 15

What did the abacus tell his neighbor?
"You can always count on me."

Answer 16

What do you call a whoopee cushion in Algebra class?
A weapon of math disruption

Answer 17

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.

Answer 18

Dear Math,

I am not your therapist so solve your own damn problems!

Answer 19

What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?
Pi in the sky

Answer 20

"She told me I was average but I think she was just being mean."

Answer 21

Answer 22

What does a math teacher eat? Square meals

Answer 23

Without geometry, life is pointless.

Answer 24

What did the calculator say to the tree? "Got any spare roots?"

Answer 25

Yo mama conforms to Planck's law. The greater the frequency she...

Answer 26