Answer 1

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher.

Answer 2

A teacher is fed up with the lack of effort from her students. She tells the class "stand up if you're stupid" hoping to prove a point. Suddenly Billy stands up. The teacher asks "Billy, are you stupid?" He replies "No, I just didn't want you standing up there by yourself!"

Answer 3

The teacher tells Billy to stop making ugly faces at other students. "Why, ma'am?" Billy asks her. The teacher says "Because when I was a child my parents told me if I made ugly faces my face would stay that way!" Billy retorts "Well, I can see you didn't listen to them!"

Answer 4

A student went to his professor's office and said "Professor, I don't believe I deserve this F you gave me!" The professor replied "true but it's the lowest grade they will let me give you."

Answer 5

1st Boy: I've got a crush on my teacher.
2nd Boy: Man, that is disgusting!
1st Boy: What? Everybody has a crush on their teacher.
2nd Boy: But you're home-schooled!

Answer 6

How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But once they get tenure they don't change anymore.

Answer 7

Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
He wanted the lesson to be very clear!

Answer 8

Teacher: Class, we're only going to have half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We'll have the other half this afternoon!

Answer 9

Teacher: Class, when I ask a question I want you to all answer at once. What is 6 + 4?
Class: At once!

Answer 10

Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately it kills all of its students!

Answer 11

How is an English teacher like a judge?
They both give out sentences.

Answer 12

Why did the teacher go to the beach?
To test the water!

Answer 13

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because his class was so bright.

Answer 14

Why did the teacher turn the lights on?
Because her class was so dim!

Answer 15

Teacher: Did you miss school yesterday?
Student: Nope! Not really.

Answer 16

Teacher: If you got $25 from 5 people what would you have?
Student: A new bike!

Answer 17

Teacher: I hope I didn't just see you looking at Johnny's exam!?
Student: I hope you didn't either!

Answer 18

Answer 19

Why did the professor get in a horrible wreck? He was grading...

Answer 20

Student: How's your history paper coming? Friend: Well, my history...

Answer 21

Nursing: Learning to save people's lives while struggling not to...

Answer 22

How do you get an asu alum off your porch? Pay for the pizza!