Answer 1

Answer 2

Three men were sitting at a bar. The first man said "my wife was reading 'A Tale of Two Cities' and gave birth to twins." "That's funny," the second man said "my wife was reading 'The Three Musketeers' and gave birth to triplets." The third man shouted "Good God, I have to rush home! When I left the house my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"

Answer 3

Cabbage Patch n da house

 

Answer 4

After a baby was baptized her 5-year-old brother was crying in the backseat of the car. "What's wrong Johnny?" his mother asked. Johnny told her "that man said he hoped the baby would be raised in a good Christian home. But I want her to stay with you guys!"

Answer 5

What's so great about being a test tube baby?
You get a womb with a view.

Answer 6

"He was a test tube baby. Rumor has it his dad was a real jerk off."

Answer 7

What do you use to redecorate a baby's bathroom?
Infantile

Answer 8

What is the best time to wean a baby from nursing?
When you see teeth marks.

Answer 9

"He's been hitting the bottle hard for years... He'll turn 2 tomorrow."

Answer 10

Jessica: Why do you think the baby is just like daddy?
Mary: It's bald, sleepy and uneducated.

Answer 11

It take many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.

Answer 12

Why do people say they slept like a baby when babies wake up every couple hours?!

Answer 13

He was an ugly baby. His mother didn't have morning sickness until after he was born!

Answer 14

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says "that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman is fuming and goes to sit down at the back of the bus. She says to the man next to her "the driver just insulted me!" The man says "you go right up there and tell him off! I'll hold your monkey for you."

Answer 15

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Answer 16

Mary: Do I have to have a baby shower? Joan: Not if you change its...

Answer 17

What do you call a female magician? Trixie

Answer 18

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes why do some people...

Answer 19

Answer 20

"Mommy, mommy! Grandma's going out!" "Well, throw on some more...