Answer 1

An old man stood behind his wife who was sitting to see if she had a hearing problem.

Husband: Honey, can you hear me? (no response)
Husband (moving closer): Honey, can you hear me? (no response)
Husband (right behind her head): Honey, can you hear me?
Wife: For the THIRD TIME, YES!

Answer 2

How do you make 4 old ladies say "FUCK!?"
Get a 5th to yell "BINGO!"

Answer 3

How many senior citizens does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. But she pays a telemarketer $2000 for the new bulb.

Answer 4

Be nice to your kids because they'll be choosing your nursing home!

Answer 5

Why do you do stand-up at the old people's home?
They don't get my jokes but I make them piss themselves!

Answer 6

What is 30 feet long and smells like urine?
Line dancing at the nursing home!

Answer 7

"Your mom's like an old cooker. Any old nob can turn her on!"

Answer 8

Answer 9

Answer 10

Christian said my jokes are baaaaa-d hes a G.O.A.T.

Answer 11