Answer 1

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender serves him a beer. "How much will it be?" the neutron asks. "For you?" the bartender replies, "no charge."

Answer 2

A guy walks into a bar and sees the woman bartender.

Guy: Hey babe, Anheuser Busch?
Bartender: Fine, and how's your dick?

Answer 3

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

Answer 4

A guy with a gun walks into a bar. "Who the fuck had sex with my wife?" he yells. A voice in the background says "you don't have enough bullets man!"

Answer 5

A woman walks into a bar with her Chihuahua. She sits down next to a guy and notices he's feeling a little queasy. The guy then looks at her and throws up. He looks down and sees the little dog covered in vomit and says "Wow, I don't remember eating that!"

Answer 6

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says "I've lost an electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first one says "Yes, I'm positive!"

Answer 7

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. "Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?" the bartender asks. The pirate replies "it's driving me nuts!"

Answer 8

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?"

Answer 9

A golf club walks into a bar and orders a whiskey but the bartender refuses to serve him. "Why?" asks the golf club. The bartender replies "because I know you're going to be driving later."

Answer 10

Thomas Edison walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "OK. I'll serve you a beer but don't get any ideas!"

Answer 11

Two jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says "you guys better not start anything in here!"

Answer 12

A group of fonts walk into a bar. "Get out of my bar!" the bartender shouts, "we don't serve your type in here."

Answer 13

A termite walks into a bar and says "is the bar tender here?"

Answer 14

A sheep walked into a baa...

Answer 15

A lizard walks into a bar and sits down. "Hey, you know we've got a drink named after you!" the bartender says to him. The lizard says "oh yeah? You got a drink named Kevin?"

Answer 16

2 oranges walk into a bar

1 says to the other

your round

Answer 17

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here.''

Answer 18

How is a singles bar different from a circus? At the circus the...

Answer 19

You know you're a loser when you drop out of the Origami Club...

Answer 20

You might be a farmer if your license plate is wrapped in baling...

Answer 21

You know you're having a bad day when you take an advance on your...

Answer 22

You might be a redneck if you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.