Answer 1

A boy aspired to be a great writer growing up. He explained "I want to make people feel on a truly emotional level. I want them to read my work and yell in anger!" He ended up working for Microsoft, writing their error messages.

Answer 2

A screenwriter comes home to find his house has burnt down. "What happened, honey?" he asks his wife who narrowly escaped the fire.

"It was terrible," she cried. "I was cooking and the phone rang. It was your agent. Since I was on the phone I didn't notice the cooker caught on fire. Everything is gone and the dogs didn't make it out. I was sure I was going to die and I'm so stressed out by everything."

"That's unbelievable. You're saying my agent actually called?" the man says.

Answer 3

How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
The bulb's IN and it's staying IN!

Answer 4

How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The user can work it out for himself.

Answer 5

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to give it a good twist at the end.

Answer 6

"I used to be a writer but I couldn't stand the paperwork."

Answer 7

Answer 8

Answer 9

How many publishers does it take to change a light bulb? Three....

Answer 10

"Down the Stream the Swans All Glide" by Spike Milligan: Down the...

Answer 11