Answer 1

"Bump" by Spike Milligan:

Things that go 'bump' in the night
Should not really give one a fright.
It's the hole in each ear
That lets in the fear,
That, and the absence of light!

Answer 2

"Down the Stream the Swans All Glide" by Spike Milligan:

Down the stream the swans all glide;
It's quite the cheapest way to ride.
Their legs get wet,
Their tummies wetter:
I think after all
The bus is better

Answer 3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken...

Answer 4

How many publishers does it take to change a light bulb? Three....

Answer 5

Answer 6

Answer 7

"I used to be a writer but I couldn't stand the paperwork."