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PraiseJoe.com
You really think mocking our religion will be tolerated?
"What religion? As far as I can tell, you're just making it up as you go along." - Joe Carroll
That why we pray hot mama
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Being an idiot isn't a crime so you're free to go
Jewish jokes
Tweet
religion
jewish
Requested
in
Society & Nature
by
Argo
edited
by
The Joker
35 Jokes
3
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by
If Then
2
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What's the difference between a Jew and Harry Potter?
Harry escaped the chamber.
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a contributor
2
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What do you do with a Jew with ADHD?
Send him to a concentration camp.
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a contributor
2
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0
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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
A canoe tips
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by
JustMe
2
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0
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Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
They never let anyone finish a sentence.
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by
Jokester
1
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0
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You: If I were dictator, I'd kill every Jew and one clown.
Her: Why the clown?
You: See? Nobody cares about the Jews!
Shared
by
The Joker
edited
by
MC Jester
1
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0
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Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says "hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"
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by
JustMe
1
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0
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What's the difference between a circumcision and a crucifixion?
In a crucifixion they throw out the whole Jew.
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a contributor
1
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0
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Did you hear about the Jewish porno?
It consists of 40 minutes of begging, 3 minutes of sex, and 17 minutes of guilt!
Shared
by
Argo
1
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0
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Bill: I'm pretty famous. A Jewish holiday was named after my sex life.
John: Which one is that?
Bill: Passover.
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by
a contributor
1
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0
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What is the difference between a large pizza and a Jew?
The large pizza won't scream when you put it in the oven!
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by
If Then
1
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0
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by
K OS
1
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0
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by
If Then
0
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Did you hear about the Jewish Mother cash machine?
When you take out money it says "what did you do with the last $50 I gave you?"
Shared
by
The Joker
0
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What's the definition of a genius?
A "C" student with a Jewish mother.
Shared
by
The Joker
0
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What's the object in Jewish football games?
To get the quarter back!
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by
a contributor
0
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Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
Someone dropped a shekel.
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by
a contributor
0
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Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
Shared
by
a contributor
0
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0
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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas?
They all gather around their cash registers and sing "What a Friend we Have in Jesus..."
Shared
by
JustMe
0
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0
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How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?
They put parking meters on the roof!
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by
JustMe
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0
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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to call the cleaning lady and two to feel guilty about it.
Shared
by
Argo
0
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0
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Why does Hanukkah come before Christmas?
So Jews can break up with their non-Jewish girlfriends in between.
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by
a contributor
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Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free.
Shared
by
NumeroOcho
0
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The Jewish civilization is 6000 years old.
The Christian civilization is 2000 years old.
So apparently for 4000 years the Jews had to persecute themselves...
Shared
by
Argo
0
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0
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How do you know a limo is owned by a Jew?
He's got a pay phone in the back.
Shared
by
a contributor
0
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How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, I'll sit in the dark. I'll be fine. Don't worry. It's okay. It's not like you ever come to visit me anyway! Oy!
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a contributor
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What is the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
An Italian mother tells you "eat your dinner or I'll kill you!" A Jewish mother tells you "eat your dinner or I'll kill myself!"
Shared
by
JustMe
0
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What is faster than a speeding bullet?
A Jew with a coupon!
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by
Argo
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Two Jews saw a sign on a Catholic church that read "Convert to Catholicism and earn $100." After talking it over, one of the Jews decided it was worth it. He went in and came out 10 minutes later. The other Jew said to him "so? Did you get the $100?" The first Jew responded "it's always about money with you people, isn't it?!"
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by
If Then
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What is a bloodthirsty Jew on a rampage?
Genghis Cohen
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a contributor
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They say there's safety in numbers... but try telling that to 6 million Jews!
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a contributor
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How was copper wire invented?
Two Jews grabbed for the same penny.
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a contributor
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Why is it bad being a black Jew?
You have to sit at the back of the oven.
Shared
by
K OS
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