Answer 1

Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well, you did say it was my lunch money!

Answer 2

Who won the race between the two balls of string?
Neither. They were tied!

Answer 3

Why is a river rich?
Because it has two banks.

Answer 4

Why did the belt go to jail?
Because it held up a pair of pants!

Answer 5

How do you stop elephants from charging?
Take away their credit cards.

Answer 6

What did the rug say to the floor?
"Don't move. I've got you covered."

Answer 7

When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a garage!

Answer 8

Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus.

Answer 9

Who forced Luke Skywalker to pay his bill at the restaurant?
Darth Waiter

Answer 10

What do you eat when you're stuck in traffic?
Traffic jam

Answer 11

A cabbage, a faucet, and a tomato were in a race. The cabbage was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to ketchup.

Answer 12

What did one tube of glue say to the other?
We have to stick together!

Answer 13

A dad says to his son "don't be selfish. Let your brother use the sled half the time." The son responds "but I do dad. I use it going down the hill and he gets to use it coming up!"

Answer 14

Girl: A monster's bitten off my foot mom!
Mother: Then keep out of the kitchen. I just washed the floor.

Answer 15

What did the 1st stoplight say to the 2nd stoplight?
Don't look - I'm changing!

Answer 16

What part of a car is the laziest?
The wheels. They're always tired.

Answer 17

What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away.

Answer 18

What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer

Answer 19

What happened when the boy dropped his ice cream in the pool?
He made an ice cream float.

Answer 20

What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships

Answer 21

Which side of a dog has the most hair?
The out side!

Answer 22

What did one eye say to the other?
Between you and me something smells.

Answer 23

Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
Neither, they both weigh a ton!

Answer 24

Why did the girl bury her flashlight?
Because the batteries died.

Answer 25

What runs but can't walk?
A faucet

Answer 26

How do you cut the sea in two?
With a seasaw

Answer 27

What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
He called a toe truck.

Answer 28

What do clouds wear under their shorts?
Thunderpants

Answer 29

Answer 30

Knock knock Who's there? Thermos Thermos who? Thermos be a better...

Answer 31

Yo mama so fat she sat on a penny and a booger came out of...

Answer 32

What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet

Answer 33

Mother: Never, never take candy from strangers. Johnny: You're...

Answer 34

Knock knock Who's there? Lionel Lionel who? Lionel get you nowhere...