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Clean Wife jokes

  
Requested in Childrens & Clean by a contributor
edited by MC Jester

18 Jokes

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Why do women live longer than men?
Because they don't have wives.
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"My wife and I were very happy for 20 years. Then we met..."
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Jack: I let my wife make the first move the other night.
Mac: How did it go?
Jack: She went to California.
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Ken: My wife has a great personality.
Craig: Yeah, mine is ugly too.
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Husband: Darling, is there someone else?
Wife: Why are you asking me that?
Husband: You haven't nagged me all evening.
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Why didn't the man report it when he noticed his credit card had been stolen?
The thief was spending less than his wife.
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"My wife has more than kept her girlish figure... She's doubled it!"
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"My wife looks as beautiful today as the day we got married. It only takes her 15 minutes longer each morning to get there."
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Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I just let her sleep.
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What is the difference between a secretary and a wife?
Secretaries get a little behind at work. Wives get a big behind at home.
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My wife treats me like a God... Every evening at dinner I get a burnt offering!
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My wife has a contract to give lectures. It's called a marriage license.
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"Take my wife... please!"
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"My wife has calves only a cow could love."
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My wife does bird impressions... She watches me like a hawk.
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"I got a gun for my wife. It was best trade I ever made!"
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"My wife has been missing for 4 days. I'm not sure if she left me or went shopping."

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