Answer 1

Celebs walk on the red carpet because they're famous... My friends and I walk on toilet paper cuz we the shit!

Answer 2

Tom: Let's go to the game.
Tina: I can't. I've got church.
Tom: Don't worry. I think Jesus will loan you out for this one. Let's go!

Answer 3

Remember... it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to extend your arm and bitch slap that mofo across the face!

Answer 4

How do suspenders greet their trousers?
What up britches!

Answer 5

What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It's going to take me a while to get hard. I just got laid by a chick.

Answer 6

What did the female potato chip say to the male battery?
If you're Eveready I'm Frito Lay.

Answer 7

How does a black owl sound different than a white owl?
A white owl says "who... who..." A black owl says "who dat... who dat..."

Answer 8

I hate it when I buy a bag of packaged air and there are chips inside. Pisses me off!

Answer 9

What's red and bad for your teeth? What? A brick

Answer 10

Knock knock Who's there? Judo Judo who? Judo know what the hell...

Answer 11

I wouldn't say you're stupid. You are, but I wouldn't say it.

Answer 12

Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? She...

Answer 13

A child prayed for a bike. When he didn't get it he later stole a...

Answer 14

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson. He brought...