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You are a pill babe
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Being an idiot isn't a crime so you're free to go
Voicemail jokes
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Answering machine message: "I'm probably home now but I'm avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message and I'll call back unless it's you."
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Answering machine message: "Leave a message and I'll call you soon. Leave a sexy message and I'll call you sooner."
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