Answer 1

A farmer and his new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by horses. Suddenly, the oldest horse stumbled. The farmer said "that's once."

A little further along, the old horse stumbled again. The farmer said "That's twice."

A little while later that old horse stumbled once again. The farmer didn't say anything this time. He reached under his seat, pulled a shotgun out and shot the horse.

His new bride shouted "that was an awful thing to do!" The farmer said "that's once."

Answer 2

A man got out to fix his car that broke down on a country road. A cow came up beside him and said "the carburetor is probably your problem." The man jumped back in surprise and ran down to tell the farmer nearby.

"Was it a brown cow with a red spot over its left eye?" the farmer asked. "Yes, that's the one!" the man said. The farmer replied "ah, I wouldn't listen to Emma. She doesn't know anything about cars."

Answer 3

If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?

Answer 4

Why are farmers only buried 6 inches deep?
So he can still get a hand out.

Answer 5

Sow your wild oats on Saturday night. Then on Sunday pray for crop failure!

Answer 6

You might be a farmer if your license plate is wrapped in baling...

Answer 7

Yo mama so ugly if she was a scarecrow the corn would run away!

Answer 8

You might be from rural America if you think cow tipping is an...

Answer 9

Why did the rooster run away? It was chicken.

Answer 10

Why did the cowboy brush his teeth with gunpowder? So he could...