Sign In
Sign Up
Share Jokes
Request Jokes
Popular Topics
Top Characters
2,901,438 people dislike this
You are a pill babe
Categories
Adult & Dirty
(1,040)
Childrens & Clean
(977)
Cooking & Food
(343)
Education
(324)
Entertainment & Arts
(650)
Health & Beauty
(763)
Jobs & Business
(328)
Misc. Themes
(1,552)
Relationships & Family
(1,025)
Science & Tech
(232)
Society & Nature
(1,504)
Sports & Hobbies
(187)
Travel & Places
(368)
Most Popular Topics
adult
animals
body
business
children
clean
crime
dirty
education
ethnic
food
health
insults
jobs
memes
music
places
politics
relationships
religion
science
sex
society
sports
women
Being an idiot isn't a crime so you're free to go
Courtroom jokes
Tweet
judges
lawyers
crime
Requested
in
Society & Nature
by
Argo
edited
by
MC Jester
14 Jokes
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: Is your appearance today pursuant to a deposition notice I sent your attorney?
Witness: No, this is how I normally dress when I go to work.
Shared
by
Argo
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: Can you describe the individual for us?
Witness: About medium height with a beard.
Attorney: Male or female?
Witness: Unless the circus was in town my guess would be male!
Shared
by
a contributor
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Witness: I don't know. Are you qualified to ask that question?
Shared
by
Argo
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Witness: All of them! It doesn't work well with the live ones.
Shared
by
a contributor
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: All of your responses must be oral, ok? What college did you attend?
Witness: Oral...
Shared
by
a contributor
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: So your baby's date of conception was September 23rd?
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: What were you doing at that time?
Witness: Getting laid!
Shared
by
JustMe
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Witness: Are you shitting me?!?!
Shared
by
JustMe
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: Your youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
Witness: He's 20. About the same as your IQ!
Shared
by
JustMe
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: How did you know the defendant was committing a crime?
Policeman: We received an anonymous tip.
Attorney: Who gave you the tip?
Policeman: You must have me confused with a psychic.
Shared
by
Argo
0
like
0
dislike
Witness: Then he said he'd have to kill me because I could identify him.
Attorney: Did he kill you?
Witness: No!
Shared
by
Jokester
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?
Witness: She's my daughter.
Attorney: Was she your daughter on April 21, 1984?
Shared
by
JustMe
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: Were you acquainted with the deceased?
Witness: Yes, I was.
Attorney: Before or after he died?
Shared
by
a contributor
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: I have a man here who says you did fire that shot.
Defendant: If he says I killed him he's lying!
Shared
by
Dana
0
like
0
dislike
Attorney: Do you believe you are emotionally stable?
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: How many times have you committed suicide?
Witness: Just 4 times.
Shared
by
a contributor
Your joke
Related jokes
2
jokes
Jury Duty jokes
Requested
in
Society & Nature
by
JustMe
A jury is a group of 12 people who determine which client has the...
4
jokes
Court jokes
Requested
in
Society & Nature
by
JustMe
Why do they ask you in court if you swear to tell the truth? If...
8
jokes
Judge jokes
Requested
in
Society & Nature
by
MC Jester
Confucius say... Woman who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge.
9
jokes
You Know You Need a New Lawyer when jokes
Requested
in
Society & Nature
by
MC Jester
You know you need a new lawyer when he warns a hostile witness...
21
jokes
Clean Lawyer jokes
Requested
in
Childrens & Clean
by
JustMe
What is the difference between a dry cleaner and a lawyer? The...