Answer 1

What do you call a woman who has everything you ever wanted?
Your ex-wife

Answer 2

How many divorced women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four. One to screw in the bulb and three to form a support group.

Answer 3

"I ran into my ex the other day... Then I put the car into reverse and did it again!"

Answer 4

"I divorced my husband over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't."

Answer 5

If you got married when you fell in love does divorce mean you've now climbed out of it?

Answer 6

How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Who knows?! They never get the house.

Answer 7

90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife!

Answer 8

"My friend is engaged in a custody battle. His wife doesn't want him and his mother won't take him back."

Answer 9

"I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better."

Answer 10

Husband: I'm leaving you for another woman.
Wife: What has she got that I don’t have?
Husband: Would you like that alphabetically or in order of importance?

Answer 11

A man and his wife divorced over religious differences. She worshipped money and he didn't have a penny!

Answer 12

Mary: Why did you split up with your husband?
Joan: I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an asshole!

Answer 13

Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.

Answer 14

Answer 15

Husband: What would you like for your 40th birthday? A diamond...

Answer 16

What is alimony? Funds which allow a woman who lived unhappily...

Answer 17

"I didn't always have money. At one time I didn't know where my...

Answer 18

What is the longest sentence in the English language? "I do."

Answer 19

"I asked my girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage. He said...