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You are a pill babe
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Sex jokes
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sex
men
women
Requested
in
Relationships & Family
by
MC Jester
edited
by
MC Jester
44 Jokes
4
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0
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What is the difference between sex for money and sex for free?
Sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Shared
by
K OS
4
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0
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The sex was fast and furious... He was fast and she was furious!
Shared
by
a contributor
2
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0
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Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Nevermind, its too long."
Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Nevermind, you won't get it!"
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by
a contributor
2
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"I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome."
Shared
by
NumeroOcho
2
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0
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What is the difference between sugar and Sweet-n-Low?
Sugar is when you kiss her on the lips!
Shared
by
K OS
2
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0
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Boy: Do you like to play the drums?
Girl: No, why?
Boy: Because I want to bang you!
Shared
by
a contributor
edited
by
MC Jester
2
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0
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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer!
Shared
by
a contributor
1
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0
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What's the difference between your job and your wife?
After 5 years your job still sucks!
Shared
by
The Joker
1
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3 women were talking about their sex lives.
The first one said "My husband is like a championship golfer. He's spent years perfecting his stroke."
The second woman said "My husband is like an Indy 500 winner. Every time we go to bed he gives me over 100 thrilling laps."
They asked the third woman about her husband. She thought it over and said "My husband is like an Olympic gold-medal 1/4 mile sprinter."
"How so?" the other 2 asked.
"He's got his time under 40 seconds."
Shared
by
The Joker
1
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A man finds a new brand of Olympic condoms at the store. He gets a pack and proudly shows his wife the pack. "Olympic condoms!?" she says. "So what makes them so special???"
"There are 3 colors" he tells her. "Gold, Silver and Bronze." "So which color will you wear tonight?" she whispers coyly in his ear, taking the pack from him.
"Gold of course," he says. "You should wear Silver instead," she says as she slaps the pack back at him, "it would be nice if you came second for a change!"
Shared
by
MEl1a
1
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My wife and I are into S & M.
She sleeps and I masturbate.
Shared
by
JustMe
1
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0
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Sex is like poker. If you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand.
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by
a contributor
1
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0
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What does a woman and KFC have in common?
By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in!
Shared
by
NumeroOcho
1
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0
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Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
Shared
by
Argo
1
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0
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Sex is like air... it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
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by
Argo
1
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0
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Why was the young man upset when he got a sweater for Christmas?
He was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
Shared
by
JustMe
1
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0
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The 3 biggest lies women tell:
1. You're the biggest.
2. You're the best.
3. It doesn't always taste like that.
Shared
by
NumeroOcho
1
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0
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What do you call a woman that wants sex as much as you do?
A dream
Shared
by
Argo
1
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"Sex is like a misdemeanor... the more I miss it, da meaner I get!"
Shared
by
JustMe
1
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0
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What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaah?
About 3 inches
Shared
by
a contributor
1
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Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't."
Daughter: I know.
Mom: If he touches your vagina say "stop!"
Daughter: But he touched both so I said "don't stop!"
Shared
by
a contributor
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A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221!"
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a contributor
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Once a nurse came late to the hospital. The doctor called the nurse. "Why did you come late?" he asked her. The nurse said "I was getting a boy's pump but now we're out" so the doctor pushed her up against the wall and gave her his pump.
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by
a contributor
1
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0
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What's a condom and a coffin got in common?
They both hold stiffs but one is cummin and one is going!
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by
a contributor
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Teacher: Why are you rubbing oil on your head when I'm teaching?
Boy: Last night I heard my mom tell my dad to rub oil on the head if it's not going in.
Shared
by
Argo
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Loose women tightened here.
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by
a contributor
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What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that can stay up all night!
Shared
by
Argo
0
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0
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What is the best way to get into a sleeping bag?
Wake her up first.
Shared
by
a contributor
0
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0
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Why do they say eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
Because if you'll eat that stuff you'll eat anything!
Shared
by
a contributor
0
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0
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A woman pops into Radio Shack to ask for batteries. The clerk motions with his finger to follow her and says "come this way..." The woman exclaims "if I could come that way I wouldn't need batteries!"
Shared
by
If Then
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How do you get laid?
Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
Shared
by
K OS
0
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How do you make your girlfriend cry when you're having sex?
Phone her!
Shared
by
K OS
0
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0
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What's the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
During erotic sex you use a feather. During kinky sex you use the whole chicken!
Shared
by
a contributor
0
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0
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What does it mean when a man in your bed is gasping for breath and calling out your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough!
Shared
by
Dana
0
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A man and woman are having sex in a dark forest. 15 minutes later the man gets up and says "damn, I wish I had a flashlight!" The woman says "so do I. You've been eating grass for the past 10 minutes!"
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a contributor
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If Then
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