Answer 1

What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Answer 2

What is the difference between women and men?
One has morning sickness and the other has morning stiffness.

Answer 3

What are a woman's favorite animals?
A mink in the closet, Jaguar in the garage, tiger in the bedroom and an ass to pay for it all.

Answer 4

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Answer 5

What a woman says:

This place is a mess. C'mon!
You and I need to clean it up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't do the laundry right now!

What a man hears:

blah blah blah blah blah C'MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!

Answer 6

Why do men prefer smart women?
Opposites attract.

Answer 7

A bride-to-be tells her friend "Jim keeps telling everybody he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world." The friend says "what a shame! After all the time he was engaged to you?!”

Answer 8

Men stand up to get knocked down while women lay down to get knocked up.

Answer 9

Women are like iPhones. You have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like a Blackberry. Rub one ball and everything moves!!

Answer 10

Women don't make fools of men; most of them are do-it-yourself types.

Answer 11

When does a woman care about a man's company?
When he owns it.

Answer 12

How do you know a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

Answer 13

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
They don't have balls to scratch.

Answer 14

Why do more women pay attention to improving their appearance than their minds?
Because most men are stupid but few are blind!

Answer 15

Men who fight with their wives all day get no piece at night.

Answer 16

Men have 2 heads but women have 4 lips!

Answer 17

Scientists have just discovered something that does the work of...

Answer 18

Answer 19

A woman tells a policeman "my ex-boyfriend stole my pot!" The...

Answer 20

How can you tell when a man is a bachelor? He comes to work from a...

Answer 21

What is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes